I quite like this idea, that anxiety is normal and a by-product of wanting to achieve. Because whether or not you like anxiety, it exists.
It’s also the most common mental illness. Research has shown that one in seven Australians in the last 12 months have suffered from an anxiety disorder.
Because anxiety is an instinctive emotional response, we can’t avoid it. And in fact one of the major problems of anxiety is the lengths people will go to in order to avoid feeling anxious! The most common being:
• Staying really, really busy so you never have to think about it.
• Trying to control every possible detail so that the outcome is perfect (because anything less is failure).
• Misuse of alcohol or drugs.
• Avoiding people, placed and reminders of events.
• Repeated requests for reassurance that you/the relationship/your work is ok.
• Old school suppression – if you don't think about it, it’s not an issue.
Do any of these sound familiar? We all use these avoidant coping strategies from time to time; they are not necessarily bad. They are going to be helpful or unhelpful depending on the situation.
For example, have you ever broken up with a partner or been fired from a job and your first action was to go to the pub with you mates? This is unlikely to be problematic initially.
But if getting drunk is your only coping strategy then chances are your mental health is going to deteriorate.
Avoidance and control are tempting coping strategies as they reduce the anxiety in the short term however because they don't address the source of the anxiety, the emotion tends to get stronger with time and harder to manage. Control is the problem, not the solution.
So what can you do about it?
There are two common types of treatment for anxiety:
1. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Thoughts, emotions, behaviours and physiological responses are four separate responses that we have to any situation. With CBT clients learn how to change unhelpful thinking styles (cognitions) while also engaging in action (behaviours) to reduce anxiety. A great self-help book on this topic is Change Your Thinking by Sarah Edelman.
2. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This is a mindfulness based therapy that helps clients to reduce the impact of unhelpful thoughts on how you feel and what you do.
The purpose is not to reduce anxiety but to accept that it exists while also taking action on what is important to you. A good self-help book on this topic is The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.
Many psychologists will use a combination of the two as some people will find some skills from CBT easier than ACT and vice versa.
We don't learn skills to manage anxiety at school so don't feel bad if anxiety is wreaking havoc in your life.
But take it as a prompt to learn some practical strategies either through your own self-guided research or with a registered psychologist. More information about anxiety can be found at
Melissa Harries is Western Sydney based psychologist. Visit:
www.parramattapsychologyclinic.com.au
