Well, it’s certainly not new, research traces modern etiquette back to the late 17th century and French King Louis XIV. Later George Washington penned his own “rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation”.
Etiquette guidelines may be quite confusing for some, buts let’s face it, for those of us who grew up with a parent who used to say “if you’ve got nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all” or another favourite at my house “children should be seen and not heard” well, you’re possibly off to a good start as you were probably (hopefully) listening more than talking or butting in.
The Oxford Dictionary defines etiquette as “the customary code of polite behaviour in society among members of a particular profession or group”. Other definitions may be “conventional rules of polite behaviour”, or “the behaviour and manners deemed appropriate in the business and professional world”.
Simply put, etiquette is the foundation for most business relationships. It helps build trust, credibility and sets the standards about yourself as a person and the business you represent. If you are a leader in your field, then being self-aware of your behaviours will set you above those that fail to manage themselves in a social and professional environment.
Three things that indicate poor etiquette.
1. Poor dress.
2. Poor communication skills, and
3. Poor behaviour.
With those three things in mind let’s discuss some basic business etiquette rules.
1. Poor Dress: First impressions are extremely important and proper presentation speaks volumes about how you project yourself. People will judge you on your appearance. The context of the role you perform and the industry you are in will dictate your dress code, whether it’s casual, business casual, semi-formal or formal. The most important thing to remember is your clients. The reason you are dressing in business attire is to show respect to them and your employer, or future employer.
2. Poor Communication: Think carefully about your language. Verbal communication is probably more relaxed than it was but it is still poor form to use rude or offensive language. The use of slang words also falls in this category. Effective communication occurs when your message is clear and concise, free of acronyms and slang and listening with intention.
Research has shown how important non-verbal communication is. When meeting with a client or in the office, remember to smile, make eye contact, face the person you are meeting, and importantly focus on them. There are so many distractions around today it’s hard not to get distracted.
When meeting with someone you do not need to multi task, you’re there to meet them; turn off your phone, email, and computer and remove anything else that might disrupt this opportunity. If you are seated when they arrive, then stand up. Lastly, be genuinely interested in them and what they represent. This sincerity will make a great impact.
Remember their name. Using people’s names in a conversation will make them feel valued. However, make sure that you get their name right, sounds easy enough, but get a name wrong at that crucial moment and what a mess.
3. Poor Behaviour: Poor behaviour can take many forms but the old adage of “treat people the way you would like to be treated” still rings true, It’s not hard to be polite to people. Because we live in a fast paced world nowadays, people may tend to think they can ignore social graces and niceties.
To start with, saying “please” and “thankyou” are considered helpful when dealing with others. In fact many Australians will most likely consider it rude if you do not. Some other polite phrases you may encounter are “bless you” when you sneeze, or “excuse me” if someone bumps into you.
The person with high emotional intelligence understands the impact of their behaviour and manages themselves accordingly to ensure successful workplace relationships.
Some no-nos when it comes to etiquette:
1. Failing to make introductions, neglecting to introduce someone may leave them feeling ignored, causes embarrassment, discomfort and creates a negative impression.
2. Talking on your mobile phone whilst in a conversation with others. This indicates poor manners and is disrespectful to others. Remember, your first priority is to the people you are with.
3. Never, ever turn up late. If you scheduled an appointment, be punctual. Turning up late tells others that you consider your time more important than theirs. If you plan to build a relationship with the person, then respect that their time is important and treat it that way. Capable and considerate people will call ahead and explain if they are delayed.
4. Dominating and interrupting the conversation to make it about you, especially if you’re telling people how good you are (bragging). Remember you were born with one mouth and two ears. A wise man once said, “use them in proportion”
5. Eating with your mouth open. Probably the most unattractive thing anyone can watch. Many business deals are done “over lunch”. Eating like it’s your last meal will reflect poorly on you, it’s an indication of your manners and will disgust others trying to enjoy their meal.
The Business Lunch
Make sure you choose the right restaurant. Check its history, read its reviews, eat there before hand (if possible) so you know what the service is like and which meals are good.
Confirm the guest list. You want to make sure the right people are there so you can all achieve the desired outcome for the meeting.
At the table, give them the best seat. As much as you may want to enjoy the view through the plate glass window, you do not want your guest watching the staff exit the kitchen or worse, facing the bathrooms.
Who pays the bill? A general rule of thumb is, if you are the host, then you pay the bill. It is important that the guest knows this early so as to avoid any embarrassment.
Make sure you end it well, a well-intentioned thank-you is always appropriate. Let them know you will be in touch. Follow up! Expressing appreciation is always a good idea. This will send the message that the person that you have met with, is important to you and that your relationship matters.
Remember etiquette is different across cultures and in some cases genders, if you plan on a business trip which involves dealing with professionals from other cultures and/or genders, then my best advice is to do some research before you engage them. You don’t want to blow that important deal through an innocent misunderstanding on your part.
Derrick Sillence is a senior trainer at PD Training, a national corporate training firm. Contact him at d.sillence@pdtraining.com.au or visit www.pdtraining.com.au
