Almost everything we do is in some way based in and/or around fear. This is very much normal and is the case because our brains are wired that way – to inhibit us out of safety, to look out for danger, to protect us from threats.
Fear is a necessary emotion for survival. When we were living in amongst the wilderness and wildness of nature it makes sense to have a brain that is wired more for fear and to be on the lookout always for danger.
Our ancient ancestors worked with their fears, had to conquer them and ‘do’ anyway regardless of fears. Why, because if they didn’t, they wouldn’t eat or find shelter.
Fast forward to modern times, our technological advances over the millennia and last hundred or so years have been exponential.
We have more comforts of living but in the name of seeking more comfortable lives we have not actually gotten any fear-less. Our brains have not evolved at the pace of technology.
Nowadays, it could be argued, that because our lives are more safe, we are actually more afraid. Our fears are not now of wild beasts or other tribes attacking.
Now, our fears are “does he/she really like me”?; “what do people think of me”?; “what if I don’t, or do…”?; “that person didn’t like my post, they don’t like me”?; “what if…what if….what if….”?
What is happening now is our brains are ‘fear-sensitive’, there’s more anxiety and stress prevalent. Our technologies and busy lives have created a pervasive stress and anxiety not too shy of being a pandemic. What is unnatural has become normal.
We experience anxiety, fear etc and all the above in our minds as thought and in our bodies as heart racing, sweating, nausea, insomnia, headaches, memory loss, trembling just to name a few.
So often our psychology around fear are thoughts of uncertainties and all the ‘what ifs’. These are often irrational thoughts based in some rationale i.e. even every lie has truth in it.
In my experience rethinking and rationalising the perceived threats can help but fundamentally the truth is often we can’t solve a problem with the same thing that created it.
People often know their fears and anxieties are irrational. So, changing them is often hard at best and people get even more frustrated or even depressed knowing they are certain the fears with thoughts and can’t change them with rethinking alone.
Dissolve fear with action
The way through fears, how to resolve and ideally dissolve them is via action. Action always neutralises fears because it is the direct confrontation with and observation of and experience that provides ultimately contradictory evidence in real-time terms; moreover, the physiological reaction is neutralised through experience not thought.
The active part we play when confronting fears is based in psychological theory called operant conditioning. That means our direct involvement behaviourally with a stimulus and essentially ‘what we do’ that reinforces a new response.
So too, if we keep avoiding threats and fears we stay anxious and afraid. If we confront and ‘do’ differently re our approach to fears and threats we condition a new response, we could call this courage, bravery, confidence or otherwise it’s a good feeling when we confront the world, our fears etc in real time the direct experience itself because ‘realised’ when it’s thinking alone it’s merely theoretical.
In short, always take action to dissolve your fears, always! Rethinking can help but only so much.
We must find courage to act and face our fears and experience directly, that we need not be afraid because being afraid helps us with surviving but inhibits us thriving and truly living freely and happily the way we all want and deserve to.
Marcus Whelan is a Registered Psychologist and Mental Fitness Coachwith 10+ years’ experience in private practice. He holds undergraduate and postgraduate degrees in psychology and education. Visit: www.marcuswhelanpsychology.com.au
